Guidance Fell

Guidance fell like a lamb for the slaughter
Tight and gleaming on my shoulder.
Breaths were taken and shudders shaken
And so I stirred my doubt within an inch
Of striking a chord, with myself, with life,
With passing.

School sent me away
Exams were passed and the essence mixed;
My rebel friends turned sour —
I managed to keep partly to myself
By absorbing Johnny’s green teeth grin
& piercing hardest the soft core
        of fearful friendly, family, holy, hysterical
Free censorship —
Head of mine bobbing on the surf they keep me awake with
Eyes of mine glowing with the light they shone away
Ears of mine thudding some old nonsense blurb.

All this worsens distinctively deeper with distance,
For I am a reflector of good faith and bad:
The demon of drink and denizen of truth.

        Overkill!
        Slam at it all!
        Fall! Fly! Learn! Leap!
        Stab! Grab! Forget! Fulfil!

                Inch forward
                Keep pace . . .

        Fall back, with growls, drawn and quartered.

        Attack / Reject / Desist / Desire /
        Ride without a helmet
        Shoot the audience /
        Incriminate the families.

        Behold the future.
        Execute wish-wishes.
        Take smack. Kill someone.
        Screw slovenly &
        Ridicule TV baiters.

        Swear! Fuck! Prick! ~
        Who killed Bambi?

        A new age of boredom begins . . .

        Go some place, inject someone
        Save your face, split your spleen
        See what seems, die at work
        Die in purgatory
        Start with Boredom, die annihilation
        Convince yourself, amuse yourself
        See me stare!!

        Watch me laugh at your kind!

Mine translated to ridiculous fancy and trust.

Eternal wanderer, nocturnal nasty,
I kept faith through those anaesthetic days,
Through post-punk gloom accountancy-acceptance syndrome
I kept myself fed, I knew
I am the power of my life,
I knew
Head keeps strength in head,
Hands keep strength in the hands,
Head or hands,
Lead yourself, follow no other, tell yourself,
Tell no other, live forever, live for others . . .

You’ll never convince me
not to be convinced.