Free to Drown
Oh my pilot,
take me to plight and engage me with
natural and calmly carried
by leviathan proportion, gloomy sea deep
You who draw me forth ~ a sunken, clam-like cause
holds me up
and floats me rough but live.
Rise up and spring-bound your salt-stained curse
to preserve a mark of monomania
on my burnt-out ship.
Wreck, scatter and tow my entrails
from my flotsam feather.
Splinter my bearers gift of sanctity,
to pierce my very life skull.
Enter with malice, benign to face, and twist a thumb to turn
in a coiling vengeance spleen
that sinks the coin, my bag of brass.
Thoughts Id shudder from hell-fires within
and wave with kindred spirits
Welling up like oceanic tears in stillness ungained,
and breaking hard with repentance,
hardly due . . .
intoxicated to my brim,
with eagerness planted to be glad
in my cut-loose ship;
Spotting broken wrecks of mine on the mercury sky above
~ once my sea! ~
and evincing little cares I once told
hatching in my seaweed cracking pod
a sickly fluid of missive half-fears
Stabbing no heart of mine with pangs of guilt,
foaming outward for fetch-me swords
to cut taught danger ties
in my hydrofoiled brain . . .
To sharpen an instinct to survive
a lastly hunt
with dear life set down
and barrelled oil of gratification
set high above:
the standard bearer who guided and
and hardly allowed me to fall below
Oh my pilot, Im free to drown
to liquefy in breath and water my blood
with folly and
to follow your prey to purgatory ~
in any case it shall drag me down
In any case it shall drag me down.